Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Six Hundred Minutes
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Moments So Dear
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Six Hundred Minutes
How Do You Measure - Measure A Year?
In Daylights - In Sunsets
In Midnights - In Cups Of Coffee
In Inches - In Miles
In Laughter - In Strife
In - Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Six Hundred Minutes
How Do You Measure
A Year In The Life
How About Love?
How About Love?
How About Love?
Measure In Love
Seasons Of Love
Seasons Of Love
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Six Hundred Minutes
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Journeys To Plan
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand
Six Hundred Minutes
How Do You Measure The Life
Of A Woman Or A Man?
In Truths That She Learned
Or In Times That He Cried
In Bridges He Burned
Or The Way That She Died
It's Time Now - To Sing Out
Tho' The Story Never Ends
Let's Celebrate
Remember A Year In The Life Of Friends
Remember The Love
Remember The Love
Remember The Love
Measure In Love
Measure, Measure Your Life In Love
Seasons Of Love...
Seasons Of Love

See now, all that capitilization gives me a headache. But I was listening to this earlier, and I found it fitting, so I share it with you. :)

Some songs are just so powerful. I'm a dork... (that's for Dave. And here comes "the because"...) because I almost start crying over songs that I know I have, and everything... and I guess you could say that the reason I like them so much is the fact that I will get sad over them. This one's new for my MP3 player, Fast Cars by Tracy Chapman. I find it an uncontrollably emotional experience. I didn't really cry though. I had a really nice random mix for my first four songs of the morning. I don't know why I'm listening to music right now. Hmm.. maybe it's because when a year ends, you have to be emotional in the morning. And music helps. Oh whatever.... Hah! I'm so glad I found myself an answer.

It has been a really good year for me, if I think about it. Sure, I've had some heartaches.. but nothing severe because I wouldn't know about that stuff. Just friend heartaches. Anyway, I had those, but all-in-all I've had a great deal of fun. With a great deal of fun people that I didn't even know, much less talk to, last year. It's weird because I'm scared to look-back (Heather, I tried the r-word and decided to just forget about it) at it all because I feel like it will slip through my fingers... and I get a lump in my throat... I can't even comprehend this summer. But I'm not thinking about it.

2001:
-Crucible
-King & I
-The King & I Kids
-AP US History ended
-Accl. Biology ended
-Friendship that questioned my attitude towards my life, and retrospectively did what it needed to do
-Third Eye Blind
-Summer Gym
-The Crusades
-The King & I Luau
-After the Luau
-Graduation Parties
-Other Parties
-Fourth of July
-Fireworks
-Starting this blog!
-Fundraising for Barnstormers
-First Day of School
-My Birthday
-DEARLY DEPARTED
-Cheesy Movie Night
-Sunday fun
-Key Club
-Boonies
-Secret Santa
-Shopping
-Sewing
Oh goodness... this is too hard. There's like a million other things I can put down for 2001.

There's so many people I met/became friends with this year. Amy, Liz Goodman, Karrie, Dave, Jana, Heather, Jeremy, Nick, Csilla, Kim, Sara, Rachel, Dave Forni, RC hahaha...

WOW. I'm sure there's more too.

Yeah, I'm definitely feeling that whole slipping through my fingers thing right now. I need to stop thinking about it.

I'll just put it simply:

This year has meant a lot to me. All of the new friends and old friends give me something to look forward to. You've given me life... each and every one of you. Those of you that I no longer speak to, those of you that are just sometimes too distant, and those of you that give me smiles daily... all of you complete me. Thank you for giving me a wonderful year. I don't deserve you.

Zoog Disney: 4th Annual Zoogin' New Year's Eve

A girl's gotta vote for her Louis. Aww yeah.

I spent way too much time watching Disney tonight. That would make me a Loser with a capital L. But oh well, I'm not feeling that great tonight. So I got to see Model Behavior and Seventeen Again. Start to finish, yeah baby.

I really should get started on all those things I'm supposed to get done over break. Especially that whole memorizing lines thing, that would be nice.

For some reason I'm starting to get really weird about New Year's. Hmph. I need to just get back to chill mode.

Gee, I'm so gosh darn glad that I decided to pick my nailpolish off when I was nervous. Argh. Well, what do ya know, It's Sunday. Break can't end... I'm having fun (besides this illness). I'll just ignore it.

And go to bed. I feel so annoying right now. They have an imood for annoyed but not annoying. I feel annoying a lot. imood does not help me to express this. I guess I'll just leave up the standard. Good Night...

guess what? it's cold out.

i had to do some walking today. i was a little freaked out as i walked, so that was no good. my new coat is warm though.

blech. i'm not in the mood to think. my ears are too cold. good logic? i think so.

RC is annoyed by non-capitilization. Maybe I should look into stopping that. Capitilization, a New Year's resolution. I'm going to suck at this. But... oh well! Hmmm...

I should have bought a scarf today. Bah.

awww yeah, finally posting on my blog!

haha. i'm like the biggest dork ever. gotta love that. yesterday i was so freaking bored and i couldn't even post on my blog. but you know, whatever. i'll just stop talking about that.

hmm... what to say. i really have no idea what i'm thinking right now. wow i'm impressed with my fast typing at the moment. its weird to like notice these things... like the whole idea that pressing these buttons without seeing which one was which and having it come out as exactly what you want... oh man i am a dork.

christmas day wasn't too bad. kinda boring at the family thing.. but i got a good nap in... and some fun gifts (yeah blankets!) and the food was okay. then i went to the hiltys... it was really strange to have my whole family there. it's like the one overlap of people that would help my parents to actually see my real friends. if that made any sense to you, i'm impressed. very interesting concept going on there. they left me there though, and i got some amy time in, so it was all good. christmas day is a very long day. wow.

break has been jam-packed, it's very nice... besides of course my couple of boredom days, but those are also good.

had some fun last night... good times. it was cool to see liz. i don't know why it was so cool, i just liked it. and of course lots of fun with jeremy and everything. indecisive me. woo. terminator 2. quality film. that's all i'm gonna say. good to see josh too.

i don't even know anymore. i'm just lost as hell in this random world that is break. it's a very interesting dynamic. today i get to see half of my dad's side of the family. i'm looking forward to that... stephanie (my cousin) is picking me and my brother up in a little bit. i hope we have fun.

i think i've basically given up on analyzing much of anything. i guess thats why i have that emotional pit of weirdness in my stomach, but oh well. no thinking for me. not today. i had random thoughts yesterday but thats done.

i'm trying to just relax a little. hah. we'll see how that one goes. i think i might call some girlies now, to get my socialization on. we'll see.

well that was a pathetic post wasn't it?

so i wrote out this post and then my computer decided to freak out so it's now gone.

let me summarize (cause i'm already bored with it):

-santa came tonight.
-sometimes i wish my parents knew me they way they did when i was younger... and that thought is a definite rarity for me, since you won't find me telling them my life's details anytime soon. i just wish they could know a little.. at times like christmas.
-but, i got some cool stuff. and i'm currently enjoying some jelly bellies, so the world can't be all that bad.
-my mom made ham biscuits for dinner. blech. tradition my ass, i don't eat pig! sigh.
-ah, family togetherness.

hmm what else?

i watched bed of roses for the millionth time today on encore. i'm SUCH a loser.

sometimes i just wish i was actually experiencing SOMETHING, instead of watching and waiting and wondering. making me a bigger loser. i just want some fun please.

so this is christmas...

merry christmas....

lucky charms are good.

so we rented moulin rouge as a family tonight... hah. they all hated it. i wasn't surprised. my dad was so pissed when he found out i had seen it and i knew what it was like when we rented it. heh heh heh.

i love it though... its one of those movies thats an experience in itself. yeah ewan. mmm. and another good thing is that we got a working VCR in the living room. no more required DVDs. :)

the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

i have a movie craving. weird huh? anyone want to satisfy it somehow... give me a call.

so christmas is in two days? what's up with that? crrrraaazy.

i have the strongest desire to be held right now.

why must i be so defective?

it sucks.

siiiigh.

mmmm good times.

break has actually been a lot of good things. like i'm not really upset about having wasted any of the days as of yet... because i've been busy. and i've been having fun. it's a real blessing. so much fun. so many fun people. good friends. getting fatter. spending lots of money. it's been fun. so guys, i guess i'm having fun, huh? geeeez.

don't you hate when you come up with a really good idea, and you're like "oo, that's a good idea" and then its gone, leaving you with the mere remnant of "yeah... i HAD an idea.. wonder where that one went"? i sure do hate it. i'm experiencing this phenomenon currently. blech.

hmmm... i'm tired. i'm going to bed. wow, i have NO plans tomorrow.. give me a call. :)

i wish i was beautiful and desirable and i could fall in love.

i don't know... where that comes from... sometimes i just feel like i'm destined to be alone. i'm defective.

oh how adolescent of me to claim my defectiveness in the face of love. i'm pathetic. pathetic teenager.. everything i said i wouldn't be.

but sometimes i just want that chance. a small chance. just for a little while...

a hundred and one entire schools of thought are racing through my mind at this moment.

holy surrealness pretty much sums up my evening.

yay. yay yay yay. best birthday present ever. yay yay yay. happy birthday to my "like sisters" friend. i'm still in shock.

now i'm the only lonely loser :) good!

christmas is a good time of the year. i had a lot of fun tonight. a lot more happiness than i can say i expected. geez... i don't even know what i'm feeling now. so much emotion.

sigh. i've gained a lot of weight. like seriously though. i look at these old pics of me and get a bit depressed. i really need to do something about this. ugh. thats so depressing.

back that thang up. i guess that applies to my weight doesn't it? haha.

tomorrow i'm gonna be crafty. hell yeah.

geez. i'm all messed up in the head right now.

ssssssiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggghhhhhhhhh...

well that was a fantastic way to waste a night :)

i love when i get so thirsty that when i go to get a glass of water i finish it before i am able to carry it away from the sink. this may come from my water lessons from oprah but did you know that by the time you're "thirsy" you're actually in a pretty late stage of dehydration? amazing huh? also, your pee should not be yellow, it should be as close to transparent as possible. i know you're enjoying that.

my extremities are freezing. think of that what you will... i just need to be warmed up. sigh. i take that back, my entire body is freezing. wah wah wah.

that last post was annoying.
i'm fat.
i'm annoyed with myself right now. and everything. blah.
i'm also screwed as far as gifts go. i have all of ZERO purchased. damn me.
so enough complaining.
i'm bored.
haha.... way to stop complaining, valerie.
well actually i have one purchased. but thats NOT ENOUGH. especially for tomorrow. damn it.
i don't have enough money either. great.
notice how i'm still complaining? lovely isn't it? ugh. hehe.

well i'm still bored. maybe i'll go sit around doing nothing some more. or, i could break out a computer game. hmm.. i think thats what i'll do. civilization here i come. oh i'm such a dork with no life... save me!

fuck yeah its break. yay.

too bad i have to babysit tonight from 8 to 9:45. no celebrating by going out. oh well, its not like i was invited to do anything. and i do have stupid rehearsal tomorrow. bah.

but enough of that negativity junk.

i actually didn't suck AS MUCH as i thought i would on that scarlet letter test... plus, i got some extra credito from shakespeare.. thanks billy. i got every homework in this week.. regardless of it's quality, it is in. so thats all i need to stay about stupid homework. besides the fact that i have VERY LITTLE to do over break. yeah baby.

we threw mr. edwards a birthday party in chemistry today. it was fun :) good way to end the day before break. i got out suprisingly quite a few of my cards.. at least to the people i definetly won't see over break. my secret santa present was the best... and i had some candy canes and stuff today as well. i think i'm just happy school is out. i hate school and now i don't have to go. this is a wonderful thing. *ignoring the fact i still have to get up early-ish to go to rehearsal*

hmmm.. i'm like excited for no reason right now. i need to do some shopping. like really bad. i'm finally excited to go have fun. this is nice i guess. i think i need to shut up now, i'm making myself nauseous.

i'm so screwed for tomorrow's imagery test on scarlet letter. yay.

wow, i haven't had much time for thought and reflection. i think i'll try, just a tad, right now.

so this week has been hectic... going, going, going. i'm tired, and my weekend hasn't even started being crazy yet. at least i have saturday night free... who knows what i'll be doing but i'm glad i don't have some function to attend.

i don't even know how i'm feeling about anything and everything right now. i'm just.. yeah. i'm liking the time i am able to spend with fun people. i would like to continue that with all of my friends. all of them.

this whole trip down memory lane thing that happened this week was kinda scary... but i think, all in all, good scary. not as many vindictive who messed things up stories... more of how we had fun things with soap opera craziness making it fun to look back on. just reminds me the importance behind forgetting about those little things and seeing the bigger picture.

and that's pretty much how i'm feeling about everyone lately. it's okay, if i have fun now, we're cool. not as close, but we can still have fun. and i respect that.

hmph. i have so many things to think about and do as far as christmas and birthdays go. i'm screwed as of now on A LOT of things. i need to go memorize a skit... thats the first order of business. maybe i'll make a list of people that i need to do cards/presents for. sigh. or maybe i'll just sleep. cause my body is no longer in the land of the living. something about coming home, getting comfy clothes on and sitting here gets me tired fast. my energy went crash.

religion is an interesting thing. i have trouble deciding how i feel about it. don't get me wrong, i believe in God and i belong to a church, and i am currently directing the christmas pageant there... but i just don't know exactly. ugh... it's hard to explain i suppose. good thing peter doesn't know what a blog is... cause he would be trying to convert me into being sure or something. maybe i'll try this thing again when i have more brain power. i'm running low.

mmmm bed.

stupid comment programs should just die. grr.

off to have some fun. ugh.

i enjoyed the NHS thing today... fun stuff.
and no speech. another PLUS.

yeah.. so i'm done for now. wasn't this cool?

i have very mixed emotions right now.

some people confuse me so damn much its scary. and i get to this point were i just get very annoyed and mad. argh.

and there's everybody else, which leaves me sorta anxious but not all that negative minded. good friends, good fun.

school is sucking a lot. i'm not doing well. i can't concentrate, i do poorly on tests, and i'm found here at times i should be doing homework. can break come like now? this very minute please? thanks.

on that note, i have all this free time afterschool tomorrow and i feel the need to go out. i know that is very wrong, since i really don't have ANY free time this week, but.. i don't have anything i am required to do til 8pm. sounds like party time to me. so, should you so feel the desire to waste my time with me anytime between the hours of 3 and 8 tomorrow, let me know.

mmmm distractions.

i think it's strange that lately my entries have all been intended for someone. not as blatantly as that last entry... but recently, they have. strange.

i was hysterically crying at a stupid christmas song today. christmas shoes i guess it's called.

i'm an emotional mess. i need some lovin. isn't that ironic. i'll proclaim my emotional instability and then request some more complication, i mean, love.

so let me try that again: i need some lovin. that's all.

and as a girls-suck.diaryland.com entry says, girls talk so much that they begin to confuse themselves. yes boys, you're correct. i do that frequently. especially right now.

might as well join in this whole pathetic telling each other how we feel through our blogs:

one of my greatest flaws is saying things that others might feel are better left unsaid. but i guess i've always had this twisted view that things need to be out in the open and dealt with. i know that A LOT of people have problems with that aspect of my personality... and that's probably why i'm alone, i've lost friends, and i'm unhappy at many junctures of my life.

and i will admit to you, that i don't often say whats on my mind anymore. i have those tensioned silences much more frequently than i would like. i guess i have more friends nowadays though. but by the same token, i have these lingering issues with some of my other friends that keep us farther apart. so its a bittersweet quality in my life that i don't open my mouth as much anymore.

i guess somewhere along the way i realized many situations can't be fixed anymore with that proverbial fight or expression of raw emotions. and on that rare occasion that i do open my mouth, know that it is because i don't want to walk away from our friendship. i want to understand it. i'm an advocate of "what does not kill us makes us stronger". for everyone, not just me and my relationships.

maybe you need to look at the true reasoning behind your actions, because i was swayed from the idea that it was just joking entirely. i had more reasoning behing my words than just to cut you down. i was searching for a reason. i was angry and frustrated by your seemingly unjustified actions.

i guess we just know how to cut each other down. although i was fueled by frustration, i didn't mean it as a personal insult. i wanted to know what was going on in your head. but alas, that remains a mystery, and i'm left deeply hurt by your insulting my intelligence. the worst part about opening up and being close to someone is that they know how to hurt you, and they hurt you so much more than anyone else can. i'm sure you feel the same way about me. i'm sorry i hurt you by acting in such an accusatory manner. that was uncalled for on my part. i'm also extremely flawed.

i think maybe i made a few wrong choices about what i was doing this evening. well.. not really entirely, but..

i should have called. i'm bummed i didn't. but, everything happens for a reason i suppose. hopefully, i'll get to hang out though.

so it ended up being: driving around, girls basketball, amy's, driving around, brittany baker's, home.
ehh... blah.

i think i'm going to need to converse more about this, but not to the nothingness that is my blog, or the online nothingness for that matter. my hurt is not disappearing as quickly as it maybe should. i'm still hurt. period.

haha, my horoscope for sunday, "you are romance personified".. riiight.

oh what the hell am i doing. hmph. thinking about things everyone tells me i shouldn't. wanting things i'm not sure i should. being stupid. that's nothing new. i can't wait til my stupid hopefulness is gone again, and i'm back to the hohum watching other people have interesting lives for even more of the time.

girls just want to have fun. hard core. sigh.

argh. i'm so glad that i make myself so cryptic that i don't even understand what i'm talking about. just ignore me.

Girls Suck

i have found my reading of this site enjoyable. thought i'd share.

i had been fine in my loneliness for a while there.. and now i'm back to being super lonely. let me digress to "i want a boy". but who knows what i really want. i think i just want some boy companionship. hard core.

mr. gannon was talking about online communication, and why it's not so good.. because we talk less... like we say less because we obviously type slower than we speak. interesting thought. maybe i should: 1. stop being afraid of the phone and 2. go out more. i go out pretty much.. but yeah, i don't know. blah. i'm not out tonight dammit.

come and visit me and my little brother eric who i'm babysitting tonight! woo! i think we're going to play monopoly soon. whoopee.

...is it okay if i call you mine, just for a time and i will be just fine if i know that you know that i'm wanting, needing your love if i ask of you is it alright, if i ask you to hold me tight through a cold, dark night 'cause there maybe a cloudy day in sight and i need to let you know that i might be needing your love what i'm trying to say isn't really new its just the things that happen to me when i'm reminded of you...

sigh, i'm soo pathetic. i need to see FAME. i don't care what anybody says. i have to see it. karrie should sing "out here on my own". it's great.

i'm off to play some monopoly.

only "sounds" can express my feelings right now:

sigh
argh
bah
puhf
grrrrr
waaaah
hmph
siiigh
mmm
uh nuh
blech
rawr

BLAH.

and now comments are back, if i can regain the comment love of csilla... can you ever forgive me?

no! csilla i loved your comments! but the stupid reblogger is down, notice how they're not working on people's pages? so i just took mine off. i had some bad phrasing going on there.. with the annoying.. no, not annoying comments, annoying reblogger thingy.

so if that made any sense to anyone, i'm proud of you.

i'm so lonely tonight. geez. take me now. please. i feel like such a poser saying that. i should just write my own thing before i read people's blogs.. because i always end up saying the same thing as people. and its usually csilla. creepy. she's better at phrasing things though. "will you please fuck me?". that works for me. and i'm quoting someone ELSE swearing. a girl for that matter. crazy.

so, so far, everything i have said has been about csilla. i guess i'm just unconciously creating an ode to csilla. yay "chi-laa-laa" as my sister would say.

i spent way too much time on my homework tonight. i had so much, i kept thinking of more things i had to do. i don't think i'm even finished. but, alas, i'm so addicted to this stupid thing that i had to come on before bed. and no one's even on anymore. oh, woe is me. is this really what my life has come to? that would be scary.

i thought i would be going out tomorrow night, but i guess i have to babysit my siblings for some strange reason. maybe i can still go out. as if i even had plans.. but thats besides the point. i wanted to see the rangerettes and the basketball game. actually, as far as order of importance goes, i would like to see the basketball game foremost. i just wanted to get out. but i don't even know why i'm still on this little topic.

sigh. i don't even know. i'm feeling.. confused.

my mind goes out of control and i can't even decide what i'm thinking. like, what do i really want right now? can i even handle what i want?

sometimes i wonder if i'm like being punished for my childhood of confusion and emotion. is that why my life's on hold? sometimes i think that i'm missing out, having never experienced this entire realm of growing up. and what happens when i leave? will i still be in this same position?

thinking about this makes me feel like crap. forever this huge, manly, mean, bitchy, ugly, unwanted girl.

sigh. i'm okay though. because the rest of my life is okay. right? sure.

well i took off comments because they're being annoying.

i need to get my phone calls so i can go on a walk! hah. i'm retarded. yes, i am.

today was okay. nothing exciting happened. oh wait, yeah it did! we decorated our locker! oh that locker makes my day now. somebody should manufacture amys and sell them because she's the meaning of life. haha. jk. but i love her.

i don't know. i guess i have nothing to say really. today i was randomly thinking about who would be hugging me when i graduate. like seriously, i'll miss all these people that i've grown up with, or had a couple years of friendship with... i just wonder if they'll want to say goodbye to me. don't ask why i was thinking of that, but yeah. i was.

hmph. well i'm good.. fine.. alright. as usual :)

currently enjoying smallville, and the amount of procrastination i allow myself to regularly. amy and i are procrastinating sacks of mush. at least we're mushy together. riiight.

liz was most definetly right about the talking about things not being good. so i'm calming down about things. talking about things makes them bigger than they are. i will go back into the out of control mode once again. because, yes, randomocity (dave's lovely word) is the fun.

i was reading some stuff i wrote last year about how i was feeling and all that crap, and i realize that now i have a lot more to be thankful for in my life. and that i am happier than i was. these are all good things. i think i have always been socially fucked up. so i think, slowly, i'm getting better. getting to the healthy-enough point. actually, i think i'm there. i just have a few more hurdles to go over.. but at least i realize that's not a big deal. at least scary valerie is a little better now. or something. but i can handle it. and even if i can't it's okay, i don't need to worry about it. yeah. go me for being miss self-help. literally.

so enough of that annoying-ness.

AH! scary! the tv evangelist guy on WB just came on. dude, this choir is HAPPY. they all like have crazy facial expressions and they're like doing their own little swaying dancing to the music that they're singing. yay God. on the mission trip i went on with Messiah, i called the music God music. this is hard core happy God music. just so you know, i went on talking about it after i turned the annoying stuff off, so don't worry about my health or anything.

hmmm. i need to worry about so much crap right now, i've just opted not to worry about any of it. this is a drastic change from me in my childhood. and if you want that story, you can just ask me.

well i'm going home from babysitting now.

well this is going to be short, but i felt i could not neglect.

today was an okay day. nothing too horrible happened. rehearsal wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. jana, nick and ned are sweet. "poor valerie" more like "poor katie". but anyway.

tonight, i achieved the goal. writing the speech that i talked about more than i actually worked on. how annoying am i? very annoying. next step, delivering the bastard. woo.

i'm actually not feeling too bad at the moment. which is good. although christmas-ness has had its tendency to depress me this year (damn you amy for putting it into words and making me even more depressed about it)... it still has this quality of looking forward to things. and that's part of happiness.

shall i crack open the scarlet letter? possibly. hah.

so i'm just a tad bit confused about a couple of things, but i'll just try not to think about that.

i didn't work on my damn speech at all. nor did i read the customhouse, because i don't have a copy of the book. oh well. i feel better cause i just pulled a review of i hate hamlet out of my ass. hopefully i can talk mr. gannon into moving my dearly departed review to my speech grade cause my grade is not going to be too good in that class. but enough about school shit.

we went to get a tree today. forced family time. i didn't help much after that though, and i didn't go to church tonight either. i went to the lighting ceremony to work with key club. it was fun. yeah hot cocoa. and then we went out to eat. amy, chelsea, olivia and i. muy interesante. just the olivia part. but yeah, so i guess there are a lot of random people out there that just don't go out ever. i guess i don't feel so bad about my saturday night nothingness.

what the hell is going on in my life anyway?

i'm just confused. no particular reason. i've just been letting my life go and running with it for a while now, and i've begun to lose control. i guess we're never in control, but back when i used to think about shit all the mother fucking time (theres the swearing again, oops) i felt like i was in control. but then again, back then nothing ever happened. now somethings occasionally occur. oh well. i'll stay with what its like now. its fun.

maybe i'll start to feel worthwhile.

so i just spent WAY too much time on jillian's blog.. fixing and changing everything. ick. but i do it because i love her :)

i'm actually suddenly very lonely. i hate when that happens cause i start to think about the randomness that is my life.. it's no good.

loser at home on a saturday night! that's me!

how crazy is it that the last time i posted was tuesday? pretty crazy! hah. no.

but yeah, it is kind of strange since i've been on this whole week... i'm just too lazy or something.

let me think... i've been a pretty big procrastinator this week, and i'm not exactly feeling the willpower to stop my procrastination just yet. i'm hoping it will come because i'm currently producing a HORRIBLE speech for speech class. remind me again why i'm taking that class? its not a bad class besides the whole giving speeches. that part sucks. sigh. i also forgot to go get scarlet letter in the bookroom in time, so i need to read the customhouse somehow this weekend as well. but i know you all reallly do care about that shit.

thursday was I Hate Hamlet. it was pretty good. thursday nights are rough though. and of course it had to be the one night i suddenly have people to talk to. so i didn't get much done. i got some laughing in, and thats what makes life longer, not good rough drafts of speeches and not finished math homework.

well. i'm in the play. the mean old woman. go me. i don't know how i feel about that. it should be interesting to say the least. i hope its okay. yeah. i don't know. cast.. yeah.. eh.. the read through was craziness.

getting phone calls from boys with deep voices is detrimental to my health. stupid family.

last night i hung out with jeremy and rc... and the hiltys... and rachel kaplan.. and randomness. it was fun.

hmm. today i "directed". it sucks my ass. but i probably should not swear. for numerous reasons, like swearing is unladylike, and should not be used in reference to a christmas pageant at church. oh well. i swore anyway. i'll work on it.